and ytd, i lost the deck of cards that i was so protective about. i think i left it at the place we were picnicking at. and i only realized after we had walked quite a dist. clovis wanted to turn back to get it but i said no. maybe its just fate. and i had walked so far with a rubberband holding my slipper to my foot! maybe that was what pushed me to do what i did today. it was long overdue but oh well, better late than never.
so what i did was i packed away all the stuff that reminds me of you. which act is not alot. i think most of e stuff is all in my mind, not so much e physical things. nvm, i think packing everything away is an improvement alr, its one step closer to helping me stop thinking abt you. although i have to say that im not giving up on you. im just trying to give you, and myself, some space. i think we really need some space. maybe [hopefully!] we'll come out stronger from this. anyway, all the stuff is gone into a nice box and high up in my cupboard. where i cant reach it unless i stand on a chair. maybe one day, i'll be able to take the things down again.
i really tried to let go you know. like completely. but i realized i cant do it. its been more than one and a half years. and i still feel exactly the same way, maybe even stronger. and somehow, i just cant convince myself to give up. so this is a compromise i guess.
right now, i just want you to be happy. im not hoping for anything, i just pray that when you think of me, you'll smile. you'll always be a part of me, whether i like it or not. and maybe, just maybe, someday we can be together again.
and you, i deleted your no. from my phone. so there.
i'm only seventeen, i should be happy.
a star fell from the sky;
5:48 PM